A Letter to a Student: The Path of the Heart

Hi Ella,

So, there is a context to the cross symbol for me: many moons ago, I ended up in a monastery in Krakow over easter, having recently split up with my first genuine love, and was heart broken. I became close with a monk of similar age who showed me around Krakow, and we had deep conversations whilst he did so.

One night, we stayed up very late talking, and I became upset whilst telling him about the break-up, and he reached under his cassock and gave me his crucifix which was, I think, his dearest possession and gave it to me. It wasn’t so much an act of Christian advocacy but a gift of his generosity, a recognition of suffering, and a symbol of our friendship. He said to me that at some stage in my life, it would be something that I could count on.

Many years later, during my divorce, it did indeed become that. There was a chapel, near where I worked, where I used to go during breaks in the day, and pray- I wasn’t religious, what else could I do?- that my family wouldn’t fall apart. The chapel was right on the cliff’s edge in St Andrews, and certainly, during a storm, the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks was audible, but the chapel was often empty, and very silent. It was a Catholic chapel, and it really struck me, for the first time, the way the crucifix, the figure of Christ, was a symbol for the human condition, but it also struck me how this symbol was also an invitation to the peace and silence within the chapel- the broken body of Christ became a portal to the way suffering can turn one within, and that is where serenity lies.

One of the final times my family was together was at my parents’ house just before my father died. They had a pond in the garden, and on one of the bulrushes, a nymph was turning into a dragon fly which became an object of fascination for my kids- this is my last memory of us all together which, at the time, was the only thing I wanted.

But it struck me, how much the transformation of the dragon fly was similar to the crucifix that the monk had given me- the broken body of Christ was like the spent body of the chrysalis and the cross represented the film of water on the surface of the pond from which the larva emerged as a dragonfly.

One of the points which stayed with me very powerfully during this time was the natural dynamic of transformation- it’s integral to nature- we go through many physical transformations but because we are creatures of consciousness, we also have the possibility of profound internal transformations.

At around this time, I became familiar with the concept of movement local and movement essential which I think we have discussed. In a nutshell, movement local defines the curriculum vitae of life- we are all encouraged to transform into the kind of success stories which we are told life is about.

On the other hand, movement essential consists of the profound transformations which make us who we are. Our society no longer really caters for these, but they are at the heart of all religions. As a result, this path of the heart- Keats defined it as the transformation from an intelligence into a soul- has become uniquely painful. Indigenous cultures, encouraged, catered for, and saw the people undergoing these transformations as being essential to their cultures, but this no longer happens.

My own feeling is that this transformation- the one Keats describes- is the deep purpose of human existence, rather than getting rich, successful or achieving fame. In a sense, this is the migration call, and the migratory path of being human. In that sense, being human-being man-suited (Donnie Darko!)- is akin to the chrysalis of the dragon fly. The buddha was on to something when he described life as suffering. However, it is when we don’t identify with suffering completely, nor lose sight of the migratory route, and the possibility of transformation, that suffering becomes an illusion.

Many people, through the nature of the world we have created- the ‘mind forged manacles’ that William Blake describes, have lost sight of this. Some people, usually through the white heat of suffering, are forced back onto the migratory route.

I would say now, it’s important not to create a cult of suffering- suffering is pointless in and of itself: it’s a symptom of worldly existence. These people are brought to a crossroads- the crucifix- where the imperative of essential movement meets the conditions of local movement. This is the crucifixion and is, I’m afraid, often terribly painful- it doesn’t have to be, but the terms of this world dictate it often must be- so the cross is this intersection, this crossroads.

Either you compromise, or you follow the path of the heart. I’m not convinced there’s a choice: you are not the driver at the wheel. It’s not actually a journey you can take unaided: it’s too difficult, and you have to go through too much, but you are helped along the way, given everything you need, just when it’s needed.

So, suffering brings a surrender to this help which can’t happen without it- I suffer little children to come unto me- in surrender, you unzip the man suit- the ego, the mind, which jealously guards its appropriation-your soul- and does so through the affliction of mind-based suffering- the self obsessed loop.

You can’t break out of this on your own: you open to the migratory path which takes you all the way. Part of the process of this recognition of suffering is to become conscious of it- see objectively your attachment to it, the working of the mind to keep you in it- and begin to recognise that Life is working in your best interests- Life is love in the deepest sense.

So, you start to wear the cloak of the world more lightly- be in the world but not of it- this kind of consciousness means that you open to the avenues that Life is giving you -the migratory path- which might seem like failure in the eyes of the world but is the path of your salvation.

If you think about it, this also releases you from judgement- if, essentially, all there is is the path of the heart, then everything that has happened to you is a prompt to take you there- everyone who you think has ill-served you is an agent of this purpose, not an instrument of your suffering.

I can’t tell you how important this realisation is: if you think about it consciously, the blame and judgement you ascribe to other people which defines your life so much, is a mind forged manacle- to be released of this is a path out of suffering, and I would say is the principle teaching of Christianity.

When Christ said to turn the other cheek, he was talking about this: see that the things that have happened to you- the blame that you ascribe to people, and to yourself- is all, ultimately, the divine agent prompting you back to the path of the heart through the only route you have allowed yourself to take which is suffering and judgement.

Remember: suffering is an illusion- that sounds impossible because it has come to define ‘you’- but you are also the dragon fly, capable of flight. This is the path you are on, and you are at the crossroads of the crucifixion: trust in Life- the transformation will happen when you do so: that’s the cross you’re on.

Rupert